Friday Funnies: "

I don’t know about you, but when I was a kid, this is how it felt to go digging for the prize in the cereal box. And the prizes seemed so much more cool than they do now. It was an adventure to go digging like that, or to fill all the cereal bowls in the house, or to use the huge bowl that you had to climb up on the counter to get because it was above the fridge. Nowadays, if cereals give toys away, they tuck them conveniently in between the box and the bag that the cereal is in so you don’t have to go digging. And the toys are crappier too. I miss those days!

Found some funnies I thought I’d share. I think this might be another oldie but goodie, but funny is always funny. Have you checked out Red Skelton lately? He’s still hysterical.

Differences Between Man and Women

Names

If Mary, Susan, Claire and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other Mary, Susan, Claire and Barbara.
If John, Brad, Tony and Daniel go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Bruno, Scrappy, Peanut-Head and Godzilla.

Eating Out

When the bill arrives, John, Brad, Tony and Daniel will each throw in $20, even though the total is only $34.25. None of them will have any smaller bills and none will admit they want change back.
When Mary, Susan, Claire and Barbara get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

Money

A man will pay $10 for a $5 item he needs.
A woman will pay $5 for a $10 item that she doesn’t need, because it’s on sale.

Bathrooms

A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, razor, shaving cream, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Motel 6.
The average number of items in a woman’s bathroom is 328. The average man would not be able to identify most of them

Arguments

Women always have the last word in an argument. Anything a man adds after that is the beginning of a new argument.

Cats

Women love cats. Men may say they love cats, but when women are not looking, will men kick cats.

Future

A woman worries about the future — until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future — until he gets a wife.

Marriage

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, and she does.

Dressing Up

A woman will dress up when she goes shopping, empties the garbage, answers the phone, waters the plants, gets the mail and reads a book.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

Natural

Men wake up looking as good as when they went to bed.
Women will somehow deteriorate during the night.

Children

A woman knows all about her children. She knows about their best friends, romances, secret hopes and dreams, favorite foods, fears and dental appointments. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house

Today is moving day for a dear friend of mine. Please pray that all goes smoothly for her! Thanks. Have a blessed weekend!