DarcsFalcon: Wednesday Wonder

Wednesday Wonder: "

When was the last time you felt like kitteh here? Seriously. It’s okay, I’ll wait while you think about it.

*hums the Jeopardy theme*

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*has a cookie*

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*gets another cup of coffee*

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*goes potty*

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*again*

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What did you come up with?

Yeah, I had a hard time remembering too.

Yet … I woke up yesterday morning with the thought of “I have never been so safe in my life” going through my head. And that was before coffee! I can’t shake it. I’ve had it to some degree or other for the last 2 years now, with only a hiccup or 2 along the way. Yes, they were sort of bad hiccups, but they were short-lived. And the optimism is getting stronger now. I mean really strong, over the last couple of weeks.

Would you believe that no one who ever knew me in real life, prior to the last couple of years, would ever describe me as an optimist? I used to get that a lot. “You’re so negative. You’re such a pessimist.” Just because I refused to call the glass half-full. People used to say I was like Glum, from Gulliver’s Travels, or Eeor, from Winnie the Pooh. For the record, I have always thought of myself as a realist, neither an optimist nor pessimist.

So I don’t know what to make of it, this optimism, this sense of joyful anticipation of my future. It’s a little frightening because to be quite honest, it’s quite unknown.

Now, I am well aware that feelings don’t dictate reality. Just because you feel you’re a Jaguar, and you live in the garage drinking motor oil, doesn’t make you a Jaguar. So, I am fully aware that I just might be losing my mind. And that’s okay, I’ve lost my mind before and it’s not that big a deal – I’ve lost more and survived. Nonetheless, I am so excited about my future that I feel like a kid who’s watching presents pile up under the Christmas tree, all with my name on the tag. And Darc’s, and my kids, and sometimes to the whole family.