Two Nuns

•There were two nuns …

One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM), and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL).

It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.

SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants.

SL: It’s logical. He wants to have his way with us.

SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most! What can we do?

SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster.

SM: It’s not working.

SL: Of course it’s not working. The man did the only logical thing. He started to walk faster, too.

SM : So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute.

SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I’ll go this way. He cannot follow us both.

So the man decided to follow Sister Logical …

Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried about what has happened to Sister Logical.

Then Sister Logical arrives.

SM: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here! Tell me what happened!

SL: The only logical thing happened. The man couldn’t follow us both, so he followed me.

SM: Yes, yes! But what happened then?

SL: The only logical thing happened. I started to run as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could.

SM: And?

SL : The only logical thing happened. He reached me.

SM: Oh, dear! What did you do?

SL : The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress up.

SM : Oh, Sister! What did the man do?

SL: The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants.

SM: Oh, no! What happened then?

SL: Isn’t it logical, Sister? A nun with her dress up can run faster than a man with his pants down.

And for those of you who thought it would be dirty, you can still repent.

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Things that Make You Go Hmmmm

• I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

• There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.

• Life is sexually transmitted.

• Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

• Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

• Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

• All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

• How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

• Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, ‘I think I’ll squeeze these dangly things and drink whatever comes out?’

• Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

• If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

• If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

• Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

• Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

• Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

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It’s Friday, thank the Lord! You have no idea how glad I am that this week is nearly over. And I am doing my best to smile and spread some funny. Life without funny is … not worth smiling about. So enjoy your weekend! Spread some love, but not any diseases. And wash any clothing you buy before you wear it!